I am sure that you learned your lesson- it is hard to debate with a lover and keep it totally non-emotional. My wife and I have figured out how to do it- but it only works for a short time before she says enough, change the topic.
I dont think you can change people's minds without debate. So in that case I guess I have not learned my lesson and that I will always debate with anyone be they friends, lovers, strangers, or enemies. I can only promise not to take offense. Changing is hard and often painful. People being lead to change oftentimes hate it. This is why I think Obama's message is so much BS. True change comes at a cost. Obama promises change with no cost (well at least not to his voters). Therefore, Obama is doing nothing but lying.
As far as my ex goes, she didn't leave me because of my debating, she left because she went into the relationship for what she though I could (should) be not because of what I am. She wanted someone more ambitious (money wise), more family desiring, and more commercial. Those were the things that I couldn't change about myself. I did though turn her (someone brought up in a fully Republican family) into a libertarian. So I had some success.
