bored
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Te vreau
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« on: June 10, 2008, 09:45:01 AM » |
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It's in good taste. I hope no one minds me posting a joke. I thought it was humorous.
An atheist is walking through the woods, marveling at the wonders of
evolution, when a grizzly bear comes after him. He tries to outrun the
bear, but he can't. Finally, he trips and falls. The bear rears up and
prepares to eviscerate the guy with a swipe of his massive claws.
The atheist closes his eyes and yells, "Oh JESUS!"
Just then, time stops, and the bear is frozen in mid attack. Suddenly,
he hears a voice: "So, do you believe in Me now? Would you like My
help?"
The atheist replies, "Yes, I DO believe in you now, but it would be
hypocritical of me to expect help. After all, I've spent my entire life
denouncing you to others. It's too late for ME to turn Christian...
but perhaps you might convert the BEAR to Christianity?"
"Done!" says Jesus, and time starts up again.
Now, instead of attacking him, the bear drops to its knees,
and folds its paws in prayer, "Oh Lord, for what I am about to
eat, make me truly thankful."
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"It is dreadful when something weighs on your mind, not to have a soul to unburden yourself to. You know what I mean. I tell my piano the things I used to tell you."
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conley
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OmegaMan
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« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2008, 05:20:51 PM » |
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 that's hilarious it reminds me of this pamphlet i got from jehovah witnesses...the cover of it is crazy -- it shows little kids playing with lions and bears it is dangerous literature for a child to see...a kid might think he can pet the bear and then he ends up being like a stuffed crust pizza in conley's house on a friday night -- EATEN 
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pittypat65
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« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2008, 07:53:39 PM » |
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Thats a good one, must tell my son in law. HAHA!!! |
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Mr. Dirlewanger
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Egalitarianism is simply absurd
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« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2008, 08:04:30 PM » |
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you're knocking em' dead, Bored.
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"Now to a tyrant or to an imperial city nothing is inconsistent which is expedient, and no man is a kinsman who cannot be trusted."
~Euphemus of Athens
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conley
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OmegaMan
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« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2008, 08:18:41 PM » |
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you're knocking em' dead, Bored.
shouldnt you be at beer and wing night? how are things going w/ american standard? |
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Mr. Dirlewanger
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Egalitarianism is simply absurd
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« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2008, 08:22:37 PM » |
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you're knocking em' dead, Bored.
shouldnt you be at beer and wing night? how are things going w/ american standard? I just had a great interview. They loved me. I am pretty sure I have this one in the bag.  I got home at 6:45 and will have already missed hapy hour by the time I got there. Plus I only had one meal today and I ran afterwards. I was pretty darn hungry when I got home. I just decided to stay at the homestead. I can always go out tomorrow. |
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"Now to a tyrant or to an imperial city nothing is inconsistent which is expedient, and no man is a kinsman who cannot be trusted."
~Euphemus of Athens
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bored
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Te vreau
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« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2008, 08:50:29 PM » |
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LOL :D Glad everyone liked it. |
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"It is dreadful when something weighs on your mind, not to have a soul to unburden yourself to. You know what I mean. I tell my piano the things I used to tell you."
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conley
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Posts: 4106
OmegaMan
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« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2008, 10:44:46 PM » |
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you're knocking em' dead, Bored.
shouldnt you be at beer and wing night? how are things going w/ american standard? I just had a great interview. They loved me. I am pretty sure I have this one in the bag. I got home at 6:45 and will have already missed hapy hour by the time I got there. Plus I only had one meal today and I ran afterwards. I was pretty darn hungry when I got home. I just decided to stay at the homestead. I can always go out tomorrow. congrats! that's awesome news |
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